Pride And Salvation

I have recently discovered something I didn’t know I had. It’s something I’ve always feared. Something I’ve always despised. Something I’ve never wanted……PRIDE.

How could this happen? Where did it come from? Here’s the thing about Pride, or any other sin for that matter. It’s sneaky. It doesn’t show up where you expect it to. We often think of Pride in the form of arrogance, you know, those people who act all important, like they’re God’s gift to mankind. But that’s too obvious. And anyone looking for that kind of pride within themselves may miss other less obvious areas Pride likes to take root in.

PRIDE: In The Form Of Judgement

When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. 11For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 14:7-11

We have to be so careful, not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. In doing so, we might not only be humiliated as in the previous passages, but we will subconsciously be judging people while we’re at it. How often do we judge people or think of people based on appearance, social status, what they can do for us etc. Man looks at the appearance, but God looks at the heart. But I have come to the realization that I have thought of people differently. I haven’t loved people the same as God has called us to do. I have judged people based on the very outward things that God says not to judge by.

PRIDE: In The Form Of Self-Righteousness

This one hits me really hard. I’ve always been a perfectionist. Whether playing video games, instruments, or making decisions in life, I don’t like to make mistakes. I don’t like to make a wrong decision. But I’m afraid I’ve allowed that mentality to enter my spiritual life as well.

But when I sin, I get mad at myself, because it is yet again a reminder that I’m not perfect, that I need a Saviour. And as a perfectionist, that bothers me. And on my journey of seeking the Lord, it REALLY bothers me that I’m bothered that I need Him. As humans we have this tendency to want to be independent. We want to better ourselves and not need anyone. “If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” -1 John 1:10

Not only that, but I have this idea that I need to ‘Pay Back’ what Jesus did for me on the cross. This is such a dangerous idea. I can’t pay it back. I can’t be good enough to get into heaven on my own. I can’t do enough ‘good’, or just sin less. If that were possible, Jesus wouldn’t have had to even come.

We are to obey the Lord and not willingly sin, but that comes after we’re saved. We don’t have to clean up and get our lives together and then come to Him. He wants us just as we are. The cleaning and renewing comes after He’s saved us.

Sin is wrong. And we shouldn’t be trying to sin, or freely sin. But when we do sin, when we do mess up, we have an advocate with the Father. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9

We are each on an even playing field. We have all sinned. We all fall short of God’s Glory. And none of us can save ourselves. It’s only in our faith of the Lord Jesus that forgiveness of sins even possible. Period. Which makes us totally helpless on our own. We are totally dependant on Christ and Him alone. And as that soaks in, let it keep us humble and never become so prideful that we ever think we have done anything of ourselves.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son. That whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting Life.” John 3:16

“For you are saved by grace through faith. It is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God: it is not of works, so that not anyone can boast. For we are His workmanship, as we have been created in Messiah Y’shua for good works, which God prepared beforehand, so that we would walk in them, the good works.” Ephesians 2:8-10

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Patience

A dilemma. For some patience I have, but patience I also lack. In the day-to-day, I don’t really have a problem with road rage, or dealing with people, waiting on an order, or anything of that nature, but when it comes to life, aka future life, I’m about as impatient as one could be.

I want things done now. I want to be where I want to be now. But is where I want to be where I’m meant to be? I continually pray that doors are opened, that my path is made clear. But it seems like so far it’s just been silence. Maybe God hasn’t spoken yet. Maybe I’m not listening.

I have learned some lessons lately about patience. The old saying, good things come to those who wait, holds true. Psalms 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I Am God”. So sometimes it is best to be still, to wait and see. But sometimes it feels like procrastination. And other times, it feels like life is passing you by. You look at other people’s lives and feel like you’re not accomplishing nearly what they are.

It can be good to have people you want to be like. People that inspire you to do more and to be better, but you have to be careful not to compare yourself to them. Each person’s journey through life is different. I have my own things I have to go through, and you have yours. Jesus is the ultimate example, and we should only try to truly model our lives after Him.

So is there a balance to be found then? Between waiting and stepping into action? I’m sure there is. But personally, I’m still trying to find it. But I’m sure as long as I’m waiting, and watching, and praying, everything will work out.

Trust, Part II

I have come to find a new meaning to trust. Well maybe not a new meaning per say, but more of a new way of looking at it.

I always thought trust was more of a feeling. You trust people based on a feeling. They just seem trustworthy. But have you ever trusted someone and been burnt? Yeah, sometimes that old feeling can be wrong.

But what I’ve learned lately is, sometimes you have to trust, whether you feel like it or not. When you drive a car or take a flight, you automatically trust that the vehicle is sound, that the plane is safe, and that you’ll make it to your destination. We’re so quick to trust a machine, and yet we can still have such a hard time trusting people.

I suppose fear of people has something to do with it. We fear what people will say or do, or think about us, and in turn we don’t trust them. We won’t trust them.

Yes it’s true that some people just aren’t trustworthy, but we don’t trust people enough, and yet we can trust them too much. Let me explain.

We trust in government. We trust in money. We trust in weapons. We trust in our own logic and our own abilities. And yet, we have such a hard time trusting God. The God of the universe. The God who literally hangs our planet and solar system in the balance of our galaxy. None of His words fall void or to the ground. If He says something, it is, or it will be.

So while yes we trust in so many things, people, ourselves etc, how much more should we put our trust in the one who created us all anyway? And trust is more than a feeling. My faith doesn’t always feel like it’s all there. My hope fails continually.

But I’ve been leaning lately, it’s not how you feel. It’s also a choice. You won’t always feel like putting your faith and hope and trust in the Lord, but you can choose to do so. You can choose to have faith and not give up. You can choose to trust in Him, no matter your feelings or circumstances or doubts or fears.

Be courageous and simply trust that He’s always there, and He’s always in control.

Unresolved But Hopeful

In life, one can often become distracted. We tend to become so focused on things that have little to no real value. Things that are trifle, and things that don’t help our souls in any way.

Sometimes we can become so fixated on our selfs, our circumstances, our inadequacies, that we forget to whom we belong.

I came to the realization, that I’ve allowed things spoken about me, lies I’ve believed about myself, and a form of pride I thought wasn’t pride, to affect me in a very negative way. I allowed offense to affect me more than I ever thought it would.

Things I had thought I had dealt with, in all reality, were only temporarily resolved, and yet the roots remained.

How did I get to such a place? Surely not all at once, but little by little. A chip here, a chip there, until great damage was done. There are many wounds, and most of them self-afflicted.

Perhaps it’s simply a case of looking too much at myself. If I was truly keeping my eyes on Jesus, maybe I wouldn’t have to come this place.

I just want to Love God, and love people. I want to be confident and not prideful. I want to be sure of who I am in Him, and in the abilities He has given me. Those are my goals. That’s what I want to strive for. And hopefully with His help, I can attain that.

I’m tired of making excuses. I’m tired of being offended by others and especially myself. I’m tired of listening to the lies of the enemy. I’m ready to make a change. I’m ready to walk in the freedom and goodness that God wants us all to walk in. To live a life always hopeful, prayerful, and pleasing to the Lord.

Breaking Point.


What do you do when everything around you is falling apart? It may not even be all at once. But over time, things accumulate until they reach a breaking point. And when it breaks, what do you do about it?

But what if not everything is falling apart? There are still many things going right, and to be thankful for. And yet, it’s still so easy to see the cracks that are widening, until they cause the structure to become compromised, and inevitably crashing to the earth. 

It’s a vicious cycle. Yesterday could have been a perfectly good day, with good spirits and trust in the Lord. And today, it could be the exact opposite, down and out and little to no trust at all. 

There’s a story in the Bible where Elijah is fleeing for his life, and at one point just asks God to take him. The story actually gives me hope. This great man of God, who eventually was caught in a chariot of fire to heaven, was ready to give up. He was ready to say, ‘Things are too bad, and I just can’t do it anymore’. 

There are moments when I want to give up.  But I’m constantly reminded that no matter how weak my faith may get, my only real option is to put my faith and trust in He who holds me in the palm of His hand. That no matter what my circumstances are, or how bad it may seem, HE IS IN CONTROL. 

I may not like it, I may not understand it, but His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts. And every day I don’t give up, just shows me how much I can really put up with, and deal with. Every time I think I’m at my breaking point, He always ends up giving me the grace to bear it. 

Sometimes trusting is a lot harder than it seems. You think it’s easy to trust God, until something comes that makes you question everything. Will you give up? Or will you allow it to make you stronger? And temper you as a bladesmith tempers a blade.

Forgiveness, and Why it is so Important 


Lately I’ve been learning a lot about forgiveness. About forgiving one’s self and forgiving others. I never thought it would ever be this hard. But the older I get, the harder it becomes. And yet, Jesus calls us to forgive. 

Forgiving myself. It’s always been the hardest, for me personally, to forgive myself. But if I’m supposed to love others as I love myself, that probably means forgiving others means forgiving myself.

I mean, let’s think about it for a minute. If God forgives, then who are we not to forgive? If the Just Judge will throw the case out, then why won’t we? 

I believe part of it comes from being judgmental, which is something else I’ve been learning about alongside forgiveness. Too often we’re ready to judge someone for the very thing we do ourselves. 

I’ve even found it possible to judge the judgers. Yes, we can actually judge people who judge! God is the Just Judge, and we have no place judging people. We don’t have a clue half the time about what people are going though. And we have to be careful. Because, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” -Matthew 7:2

So first, we can’t be going around judging people. Second, we have got to be quick to forgive when wronged, or, when we think we’re wronged. Holding a grudge, or ‘judgement’ is a dangerous thing, it can hurt  you and the person you hold it against.

Another way of looking at forgiveness is forgiving offenses. In today’s world, it is sooo easy to be offended. And sooo easy to offend others. But it shouldn’t be that way. We need to learn just to be loving and offer grace and love just as we have received it. We are ALL human, and we ALL make mistakes. But if we’re repentant about it, God will forgive us, and so we should forgive one another. Then true healing and unity can begin. And yet, even if people won’t apologize to us, we should still forgive them, because then it puts us in danger of not being forgiven. 

Faith, Where Did You Go?


Faith, where did you go? 

I found myself asking that very question. No where to be seen, my faith was almost non existent. 

The past couple months have been pretty rough. More psychological than anything though. I found myself questioning things. Almost anything and everything. God’s love. His mercy. His willingness to forgive. And ultimately…His existence. 

Deep down I knew He did. I knew that none of the universe was by accident. I just felt far away from Him. I prayed less, and believed less. 

My Faith had died.

It all accumulated until one day, I no longer felt worthy to be forgiven. Forgiven of sin, and everything I’ve ever done wrong, past and present. It’s a terrible feeling. A hopeless feeling. That no matter how much I repented it was too late. 

But see, I tried to. I repented, but I couldn’t receive the forgiveness I so desperately needed. The biggest reason I couldn’t receive it, is because I couldn’t forgive myself. 

Just as the Bible says you can’t be forgiven if you don’t forgive, that includes forgiving yourself. When I finally forgave myself, received forgiveness, I could finally move on. But my faith still wasn’t there. Well, enough was there to be forgiven, but that’s about it. 

But as I read the Bible, and pray more, the more I want to do those things. And I can already tell a difference in my thought process, and my faith. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. 

If you find yourself with questions, looking for answers, or just lacking in faith, read His word, pray, and ask Him to grow your faith. He really does listen, and He really does care.