Taking Care of Busyness

I know…it has been awhile since my last post. Life has been crazy, and I simply haven’t gotten around to the blog. Today I will share a few updates, what’s new, and what some hopes are for the future. To be honest though, it has been a pretty tough time, physically, mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually. It has been truly difficult to balance everything. I suppose most people are good at it, but I am not. For me, I start taking care of one thing, only to let the other things suffer. Spiritual life going great? Awesome! But while that’s going on, I’m neglecting my health, then that starts to suffer. It’s crazy to think how hard it is to have a nice balance in taking care of everything. With the introduction out-of-the-way, here are some updates.

I’m going to college! Which is both exciting and crazy! I’ve been enjoying it for the most part, but it’s adding to my workload, which means I have to really learn to manage my time. And as mentioned above, I really need to work on. This first semester has flown by. I did end up missing a couple of weeks due to sickness, which put me behind. I’m almost caught up now though. I’ve also been getting some hours in at the grill on campus. So everything is going pretty well all in all. While this all may seem like no big deal to some, we’re talking about someone who used to not like going through drive-thrus, or answer the telephone, because of social anxieties. Those anxieties were only for a season though. Growing up I never had a problem with that. It was only during my later teenage years those issues arose. The Lord has brought me so far!

But alas, it can’t be all good things, can it? For there is some things that seem to be doing worse. While I’m still learning about living life, I find it difficult to remain focused spiritually. It’s easy to spend time with God when you don’t have so many things going on. It really has to become intentional when you are so busy. It may not seem busy compared to others, but for me, I’m the busiest I have ever been. Throw in still trying to maintain proper diet, exercise, and not to mention keeping up with ministry, and that’s a full schedule. They just never tell you how much responsiblity being an adult really is. Everyone says enjoy being a kid while you can, but you never realize why until it’s over. I just hope and pray that I can stay rooted and grounded while being busy, that I don’t get too busy for the One that really matters.

Please do not take me wrong, I know how writing about a subject can make it seem exaggerated and bigger than it really is. I’m enjoying all of this journey. And I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes me. It’s just that in all of this, I’m learning to prioritize. It’s very important how and what we spend our time on. We’re only given so much, and I don’t want to waste any of it. Love y’all!!

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Flight Control

I’ve always wanted to fly a plane. To me it just seems so amazing to be able to leave the ground, and take flight in a giant metal bird. Such freedom, seeing the ground from a bird’s-eye view. It’s so humbling seeing how small the ground we live on really is just by changing your perspective. I do plan on getting my private pilot’s license, Lord willing. But while I do love planes and flying in general, they also form a great metaphor for my personal life.

The last couple of weeks have been very odd. I haven’t felt this down in a while. It’s nowhere near what I use to deal with, but it’s still been enough to notice. Sometimes it can come without any reason, like now. Without any one specific thing being the culprit. While other times it can be brought on by a situation or circumstance.

There have been times I’ve felt like my life was spiraling out of control, like an airplane that has stalled trying to climb too steep of a grade. There are always, of course, times when control is regained, and steady flight is maintained.

Lately I think this time it’s mostly been brought on by spiritual reasons, and health reasons. Sometimes you can begin questioning things, and the more you question things, the more answers you seem to lack.

Don’t give up based on emotions. Don’t give up based on feelings.

But one thing I have learned through everything is this: don’t give up based on emotions. Don’t give up based on feelings. It’s easy to trust in the Lord when you feel like it. It’s easy to worship when everything in your life is perfect. The true test comes when trials come. For that is when you’re left with a choice. Will I stall out, spiraling out of control? Or will I push the engines a little harder, and navigate through the rough turbulence, trusting He will see me through?

I have chosen the latter. If Job went through what he did, and never wavered, then surely anything I might go through is nothing. So, big or small, drought or rain, I want to be someone God can trust. Uncompromising, unwavering, and completely sold out for my King. Proverbs 3:5 says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

We’ve got to learn to trust Him with everything, for our lives are but vapors anyway. His timing is not our timing, and His ways are not our ways. He’s God, and we’re not. The creation never supersedes or knows more than their Creator.

We’re truly nothing without Him. But I find comfort in that. It takes the burden off of me, and He gives me a yoke to take up, for His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.

Where is Your Heart? Part I

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. -Matthew 6:21 NLT

What is it to truly follow Jesus? I’ve been asking myself that question for some time now. It seems like I, along with many others, have only been partially following Him. What do I mean? I mean, I worshipped on Sundays and Wednesdays, and from time to time on ‘non-church’ days. But I have to say I hadn’t given Him everything.

A few months back, I decided, along with a dear friend, to read the Bible from start to finish. I grew up with the Bible, but never have successfully read through it in its entirety. Also around that time, I decided that I knew God was real.(After questioning it from time to time.) But I wanted to know Him for myself. Not what others said about Him. But an actual relationship with my Creator.

My faith had mostly grown cold, so it was almost like starting from scratch.

Over the past several months, l have experienced far more growth than I was expecting. In some ways I feel like it’s not as fast as I want, and in other ways I feel like it’s just a process and relationships take time.

Lately my Pastor has been preaching on being apart from the world, and how to cultivate a culture pleasing to God. Honestly, at first, I thought it kind of sounded like legalism. We’re saved by Grace, right? Well yes. Are sins are washed by the blood of Jesus, and we’re saved by Grace through Faith, but it does so much more than that.

Grace not only saves, it EMPOWERS.

Through my Pastor’s teaching, reading the word for myself along with various other teachings including John Bevere and Perry Stone, I’ve come to a new realization. Our actions really do matter! Of course I’ve always known this, but just not to the new revelation I now have. Grace not only saves, it EMPOWERS. It empowers us to live Holy and Righteous before God.

1 John 2:15-17: Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the Love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. -KJV

Lately He has really been dealing with me, especially with separating myself from the world. If we’re supposed to do everything for His glory, honor, and praise, can we truly say that we do? Is that movie full of sin and death worth watching? Is that song everyone listens to worth taking your eyes off of Jesus?

I feel like I have so much more to say than I really can in a blog post, but I’ll touch on a couple more things real quick.

Prayer, Reading His Word, and Worship are VITAL. I always heard it, but never did it to the extent I do now. It truly makes all of the difference in the world. How can you get to know someone if you rarely speak to them? If you rarely spend time together?

God wants us to be so consumed with Him that there’s no room for anything else.

Another thing. Do we hate sin? Really. Do we hate sin? Then how can we, (me included), be tolerant of it? We allow it in our homes every day, then wonder why we’re not feeling the presence of God like we used to. I used to be like that. I got to the place where I still new sin was wrong, but I tolerated it in movies and tv shows, because, ” I don’t live that way, so it’s okay”. It will even affect your concern for the lost. Without Christ, their sins will take them to hell. And we cannot tolerate or be okay with that.

Let me say something. If the Word of God feeds our Spirit Man, and it’s even called the Bread of Life, then that means you can spiritually feed on other things. I used to think, As long as the majority of my time is with God, it doesn’t hurt to watch a movie or anything here and there. But that ideology is so wrong.

Physically, if you’re on a strict diet, lifting weights, working out, that diet is what sustains and supplies the necessary fuel and nutrients to do the work in the first place. If you eat anything you’re not supposed to, you’ll pay for it. How much more important than that you feed your Spirit the necessary nutrients!

What it all comes down to is your love for Jesus. Is He your first, or your Only? I want to do everything for Him, and Him alone. My Love for Him is not where it should be. But as I grow in Him and get all of the world out of me, I know it will continue to grow. I encourage you today, to search your heart. If you marry someone, you commit yourself to them only. Jesus is coming back for a Bride, without spot or blemish. I truly want to be found to be a good and faithful servant. I hope and pray that you do too.

“He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.” – Ephesians 5:27

The man answered, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!” -Luke 10:27,28

“If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. No, I will not abandon you as orphans–I will come to you.” -John 15:15-18

“The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’ -Matthew 25:23

Breaking Point.


What do you do when everything around you is falling apart? It may not even be all at once. But over time, things accumulate until they reach a breaking point. And when it breaks, what do you do about it?

But what if not everything is falling apart? There are still many things going right, and to be thankful for. And yet, it’s still so easy to see the cracks that are widening, until they cause the structure to become compromised, and inevitably crashing to the earth. 

It’s a vicious cycle. Yesterday could have been a perfectly good day, with good spirits and trust in the Lord. And today, it could be the exact opposite, down and out and little to no trust at all. 

There’s a story in the Bible where Elijah is fleeing for his life, and at one point just asks God to take him. The story actually gives me hope. This great man of God, who eventually was caught in a chariot of fire to heaven, was ready to give up. He was ready to say, ‘Things are too bad, and I just can’t do it anymore’. 

There are moments when I want to give up.  But I’m constantly reminded that no matter how weak my faith may get, my only real option is to put my faith and trust in He who holds me in the palm of His hand. That no matter what my circumstances are, or how bad it may seem, HE IS IN CONTROL. 

I may not like it, I may not understand it, but His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts. And every day I don’t give up, just shows me how much I can really put up with, and deal with. Every time I think I’m at my breaking point, He always ends up giving me the grace to bear it. 

Sometimes trusting is a lot harder than it seems. You think it’s easy to trust God, until something comes that makes you question everything. Will you give up? Or will you allow it to make you stronger? And temper you as a bladesmith tempers a blade.

Reality

Finally. Finally. I am finally coming to a place I have wanted to be at for a long time. A place where I’m comfortable with myself and the people around me. A place where I love God, and love others as I love myself. A place where I don’t question if people say what they mean. A place where I feel loved, not because I hear it more often, but because I don’t question the sincerity behind those three words. When I hear it I simply believe it. I accept it. I cherish it.

Hindsight is 20/20, and it’s never been more true to me. I always see things more clearly after they’ve gone.

I now see that the reason I had a season of time that I no longer felt love was not because love was absent, but because I simply didn’t believe it was there. I heard it all the time, but I didn’t believe it. I didn’t accept it, therefore, it did not exist to me.

When I feel lonely, again, it’s not because I don’t have friends, but because I don’t believe I have friends. And that’s shocking to me. How can something exist and you not believe that it does?

Why do we watch television? Why do we have video games, novels, music, anything to take us out of the reality we’re living? We do to escape reality, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it’s a good thing to forget your problems, if only for a short time. If there is to be a problem, it will come when we stay out of reality for too long.

We shouldn’t downplay the troubles of the world, for if we “Bury our heads in the sand”, nothing will be done to combat them.

What is reality? Well, google puts it like this: “Reality, the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.” Simple right? It’s simply the world as it really exists. Not what we want it to be, or what we work for it to be. It is what it is, really. We shouldn’t downplay the troubles of the world, for if we “Bury our heads in the sand”, nothing will be done to combat them.

Growing up, there were things I didn’t believe, or accept, even though they were fact. Why is that? Only for the fact that I didn’t like it. I didn’t like reality, so I made up my own reality. It could have been anything, from not listening to my parents in what was best for me, all the way to not watching the news because I couldn’t bear to acknowledge the evil in the world. I still believe in seeing the good in the world, but have come to realize you cannot find a solution until you acknowledge there is a problem. And of course, it wasn’t something that was a major part of my life, but it was there. What kid doesn’t daydream, or live oblivious to so many things?

I suppose that’s what happens when you grow up, or at least it should be. We find out so many things that, as a child, we couldn’t understand, or could even care less about. As we grow, we should mature. We should obtain wisdom, and as Christians, we should be continually drawing closer to Christ. And as we do, we must allow Him to continually change us into being more and more like Him.

So just as I have learned so so much just in the past couple of years, about God, about myself, and about others, I cannot wait for the mysteries that await to be unearthed. The questions to be answered. The life to be lived.