Sold Out

Are you sold out? Are you totally committed? You have to be to jump out of a plane like in the photo above. Either that or you’ll be forced to jump!

Hey everyone! I know, it’s been a little while. This summer has just been so busy! I’ve learned so much, grown as a person, and especially found the Lord in a deeper way!

Where to begin? Let’s begin with our youth group’s cabin trip. Our trip took us to Pigeon Forge, TN, the usual place we go to for summer retreats. When we got there, the cabin we originally booked was trashed, so we had to scramble and book another one. Praise God we not only were able to book another cabin, but it ended up being the best one we’ve ever stayed in!

Each night of service was amazing. Full of prayer, worship, and being sensitive to what the Holy Spirit wanted to do. Chains were broken off of people’s lives, and hearts were set ablaze with the love of Jesus and fire of The Holy Spirit. I personally really learned how to push through and worship even when fatigued.( Our services would start around 7-8, and sometimes end in the early a.m. hours. Not to mention our daily devotionals and activities throughout the day, including team games!) Needless to say, I truly learned how to push through.

So it’s personal testimony time. I’ve written before about over thinking, depression, etc. I’m glad to say I’ve been set free from those things!! I’m learning to walk in my newfound freedom, but it’s amazing to see where God has brought me from. I was at points throughout my life where I wouldn’t even go through a drive thru, because I didn’t like talking to strangers or anyone I didn’t know. I’ve even noticed things I’ve been set free from I didn’t realize were a problem until they were no longer there. I no longer feel lonely and much of the fear I’ve had is totally gone. God is so so good!!

Jump forward a couple of weeks to this past weekend, and I gained even more freedom at Summer Warrior-Fest 2018. I experienced even more of the freedom I learned on the cabin trip, freedom in shouting, dancing, and crying out to God. And hunger.

Sometimes we reach a certain level in the Lord, and become comfortable. It’s pretty easy to do, but I just keep getting pushed into pressing in, and asking the Lord for more! I just want more of Him! I’ve come to realize we’ve got to be sold out.

Sold out. Unashamed. Uncompromising. Relentless. I want to be so in love with Jesus that everyone knows it! I see Him drawing me closer to Himself, asking me to go deeper. I’m not sure how to go deeper from here, but I’m trusting He’ll show me the way.

I don’t want to go back! Back to the mundane! Back to no passion! I want to be on fire and passionate for Him! Keith Green’s Biography, No Compromise, is really pushing me to seek Him out more. And there’s a deeper longing to be His hands and feet. I want to see myself sold out for Him, along with the rest of the church. Then we can truly take the gospel to the nations, because nothing will hold us back.

Everyone talks of revival, but how many are truly willing to do what it takes? Revival starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with repentance, and throwing off the weight that so easily besets us. I want to see the lost saved, the sick healed, the broken hearts be mended.

So I guess that’s all for now. Love y’all!!

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Transformed

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The TRANSFORMATION that has occurred within the past year boggles my mind.

Lately I have been learning to be confident. To put my faith and trust so strongly in God and in the abilities He has given me. To walk in the freedom He brings. But it’s not always easy.

I have always been so fearful of having PRIDE that I never wanted to be confident in anything. Pride can cause you to stumble. Pride can cause arrogance. Pride can blind you. Those are traits I’ve never wanted.

And yet looking back, I still had pride. I had secrets. Things I didn’t want people to know. So caught up in  what people thought of me or caring about my image, more than just being a kid and having fun. Especially being afraid to lift my hands during worship, in fear of who may see.

I always tried to play it cool. I never knew if a crush or potential crush was paying attention to me, so I definitely didn’t want to do anything silly or stupid. But trust me, trying to play it cool and being self-conscious of everything I did became exhausting. It was a cycle of  seeking the approval of others. “Did I do well? Is this good? Is that good?” Those were questions I always had. I wanted affirmation in everything I did.

I would always base my opinions upon the opinions of others. Whether reading a Facebook post, or simply having a conversation with someone, I would continually change my mind on issues based on the last person I spoke to.

I struggled for years, even to the point of not talking to people much, thinking they couldn’t possibly want to talk to me. A feeling would come over me that I would just be annoying them, so I wouldn’t talk to them at all.

But you know, that is no way to live. There came a point when I loved God and people so much, I began to see things differently. Most of the issues all came from the wrong PERSPECTIVE. But my perspective changed. Even if people didn’t want to talk to me, so what? And I actually find that most people do like talking to me.

I finally decided I didn’t want to live being afraid of what people think of me. Or afraid of making mistakes. You have to throw yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Be who God created you to be. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours.

Knowing that God loves me, means I no longer have to seek the approval of others. Only His. When I strive to please Him, everything else falls into place. You can’t please everybody. And honestly it’s pretty hard to please yourself as well. I’m often judgmental of my own work. I disassemble the words and works I have done during the day, putting them under a microscope, scrutinizing every detail. That has gotten better as well.

But it amazes me at how much things have changed in just the past year. I could write endless posts pertaining to all of the things in my life that have been transformed. It just goes to show, when God heals, He heals everything. When we truly encounter Him, we will be forever changed.