Simplicity

Sometimes you refuse to slow down and evaluate things. Sometimes life gets in the way and it’s not easy to do so on a normal day. Then the flu hits and you’re forced to make a dead stop in your tracks. At least that is what happened to me. I have never slept so much in my life. It was absolutely brutal. I still feel the fringes of it having mostly recovered.

So what is it that I was able to evaluate? Well the Lord has been speaking to me more and more lately. Very subtly. Having this time to evaluate things I realized there were areas in my life that I still didn’t trust Him with. That has happened over and over, I can tell you that. I think it’s part of our journey to constantly be shown somewhere else to trust Him. He takes us on this journey with Him. I have been both stubborn and slow to learn in some areas, but His kindness and grace is ever present.

If you know me very well at all you know that I have a bad history with overthinking. Classic introvert some would say. It is true that I am more of an introvert. But the truth is I’m exhausted. I’m so tired of having to feel like the control is in my hands. Because it is not, and it never has been. I become hesitant to say yes to God because I don’t know what He will say. What will He ask of me? What if I do it wrong? What if I fail Him for the millionth time?

There’s still this perfectionistic voice in me that says I’ve only ever failed God, and I can’t do it right. I never failed at much of anything as a kid. I didn’t know how to fail and keep going. If I have failed at something, my instinct is to say I am the failure, though that’s not true. We are not our failures or bad choices. We are not the battles we face or the demons we fight.

The other day, it was like I could see clearly. Why do I complicate things? Why do I hesitate? What if it is way more simple than I have believed? Because honestly, I’ve believed about every lie the enemy can throw at us. So I took a step and said, okay, I will choose to take the Lord at His word and trust Him. Keep it simple. Trust that I am His. Trust that when I pray, He hears me. Trust that I am loved by Him. Trust that no matter what, He will see me through. Trust that He is big enough for my failures. He is big enough for my questions. He is big enough for my hurt, my pain, and my doubts.

My friends, it is simple. God is bigger than all of that. He can handle our emotions, dreams, fears, doubts, and pain. We’re not sparing Him from anything by keeping it to ourselves. We’re not showing responsibility by how well we handle it on our own. His desire is for us to fully depend on Him. To cast all our cares on Him, because He truly cares about us.